Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Chemo Cycle 3

I'm 3/4 of the way done with Adriamycin and Cytoxan! 

DAY 1: My mother in law, Giuliana, came with me to this infusion. I warned her it was really boring, and long and gave her every avenue she could have taken to just drop me off and run. She didn't though. She sat with me the whole time. We got to catch up on everything that's been happening with her, the kids, our families. We gossiped like school girls. 🙂 We chatted about the Instant Pot, electric pressure cooker. A friend had peaked my interest with her recipes and how easy it's to make meals in minutes. I am super excited about this pressure cooker. She ordered it for me. I really enjoyed spending time with Nonna. Chatting and gossiping made the time pass so fast.  It was really nice! Thanks Nonna, for keeping me company. ♥

Adriamycin Cycle 3 
I'm stoked because this regimen has been a lot more physically and mentally taxing than I anticipated. It's been rough, but is almost over!

When my numbers tanked and they put me on prophylactic antibiotics to help bring them up. I became a hermit. I was afraid to go out, socialize and just be around people. I'm struggling with depression. I'm not medicating, because I don't feel I need to. I don't want to. I just need to get out of my head, sometimes easier said than done. I've reached out to a few friends. We're going out for coffee or something, really anything to just get out of the house.

DAY 2: Brandon had a bunch of VA appointments in the morning & with my numbers being crap, we decided me staying home was best. Once he got home we headed out to the Florida Hospital for Women. This is where Logan will be born. I scheduled a hospital tour since its a brand new facility & we're going for a c-section. I wanted to know where we need to be, how it's going to work and what the place looks like. I SHOULD have gotten photos. The maternity ward from pre-op, recovery & mother-baby is gorgeous. The NICU is a level 3 so they are equipped to handle all sorts of complications. It has a really nice waiting area for visitors with coffee, drinks & snacks. The hospital tour was the highlight of our day. After the tour we went to my hydration appointment at the infusion center. They pumped me full of Sodium Chloride and sent me on my merry way.

The rest of the week was a blur. I felt very tired but very happy to be almost done with chemo. I was ready to do cycle 4 a week earlier if it meant I'd be done with this a week earlier. 😅

DAY 4: Sunday, I met up with Andrea, a friend of mine. We met at Starbucks for some coffee & chatted for a couple hours. It was nice to vent and talk about things non-cancer related. I really enjoyed getting out of the house without the kids and not being treated like a fragile cancer patient. It was good for my mental health, I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired and being treated like so.
Andrea hosted a diaper party of sorts when I was first diagnosed and brought us two huge bags full of diapers and wipes for Baby Logan when he's born.

DAY 5: I mustered up the energy to venture out of the house with the kids alone. This has always been a challenge because my kids are like squirrels but even more so now that I have little energy to begin with.
We went to Chick-fil-A to have a playdate with Bethany & her girls. We joke that Tristan & Ella are an old couple. She bosses him around & he takes it. He puts his arm around her neck/shoulders and they pose for pictures.

*At this point about day 5 of cycle 3 I stopped writing. I had virtually no energy left and what I did have I needed to spend nesting. I had mountains of clothes to wash and a closet to sort to make room for 3 boys in 1 closet. THANK YOU IKEA & Brandon for being so awesome at organizing. 

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Stress: I'm not handling it very well

I am freaking out! Seriously stressing out, probably for no reason. Maybe because stressing out over the pregnancy and baby is less dreadful than freaking out over cancer, surgery, chemo, etc.

Logan is due April 20th. I asked the doctor today if we can go ahead and schedule the c-section. Nope. Why not?! Well, because #1 they need to know when the Maternal-Fetal medicine specialist thinks it's best to deliver & #2 the hospital still hasn't posted March calendar, let alone April. So no dice.

So I still don't know when Logan will be born. Which knowing would help considering that I'm a type A personality. I have to prepare!!!

I created an Amazon Baby Registry so I could use the completion coupon towards few things that I still need. Like an infant car seat for Logan. For Liam, I used the same car seat as I had with Tristan but that's now expired. So I want to get the Baby Trend Secure Snap Tech 32 Infant Car Seat because it's small enough to fit in my car and it fits in our current double stroller. I also need to get a crib mattress because Liam still sleeps in the crib & I don't see him vacating it anytime soon. A mom in Tristan's class has offered me her crib for Logan to use. <---THANK YOU! ♥ The other stuff is just little things that need to be replaced. I love the Kiinde bottles because I can push the air out of the bottle/bag. This bottle is the coolest thing since sliced bread. 😀 I still use these bottles with Liam. Which reminds me, I need to wean him some time soon.

I have baby clothes in the attic. I need to get them out. I have to figure out what I'm going to do about the closet/storage situation. I need to figure out what I'm going to do about sleeping arrangements. I know the first couple of months Logan will sleep in my room, likely in the pack & play. But then once he's ready to transition to the crib will I have 2 cribs in the nursery or move Liam's crib into Tristan's room? Liam goes to bed early, so regardless he'd probably go down first. Tristan is a procrastinator when it comes to bed time. Hmm?

Also, after Logan is born I will have a few weeks off of chemo to recover from a c-section but how long? How will I manage THREE kids, one being a newborn, with weekly chemotherapy? <---This thought alone stresses me out.
How in the world will I make it through? My poor sitters, they'll need help or need to be real pros to handle 3 kids. Oy!

I started gathering quotes on flooring installation because we bought the floors for the living and dining room area and planned to do it ourself but Brandon does t have the time and I don't have the energy and it needs to get done like yesterday. My in laws offered to pay the labor but all the quotes I've found so far are $1.25 or more per sq ft. I think thats more than we paid for the flooring! Ugh!

Does any one know anyone who can install it for less? It's click & lock planks floated on a concrete slab. It's been prepped so it's just install, not rocket science. If chemo & this pregnancy weren't kicking my butt I'd do it myself. How frustrating.

I got the orders from the OB to do the third trimester labs and 1-hour glucose tolerance test. They gave me the orange glucola, I asked for that one. I'm taking this to chemo tomorrow to see if they can draw my labs from the port so I don't have to get my arm pricked again. It's still bruised from the lab draw last week. I called the nurse today, she said to bring it in, the worse they can say is "no". Also, the port is only supposed to be accessed by certified nurses (with port experience) that's why the outside lab wouldn't touch it. So cross your fingers, I hope I can do it there.

Chemo is tomorrow, I'm dreading it so freaking much. I don't know why. Actually, I do. Cycle 2 knocked my blood counts all down. I felt weak, and Uber tired and generally like shit all week, then the family got sick (food poisoning), all my fault so I was taking care of them, making myself fever more fatigued. Tuesday I finally start to feel myself again and now Thursday is creeping up on me. Geez! So, no, I'm not looking forward to this.

Wish me luck and sanity. I need both!
And maybe a girls night/day out. So if you want to meet up, let me know. I need to stop being such a hermit right now. It's depressing.