Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Stress: I'm not handling it very well

I am freaking out! Seriously stressing out, probably for no reason. Maybe because stressing out over the pregnancy and baby is less dreadful than freaking out over cancer, surgery, chemo, etc.

Logan is due April 20th. I asked the doctor today if we can go ahead and schedule the c-section. Nope. Why not?! Well, because #1 they need to know when the Maternal-Fetal medicine specialist thinks it's best to deliver & #2 the hospital still hasn't posted March calendar, let alone April. So no dice.

So I still don't know when Logan will be born. Which knowing would help considering that I'm a type A personality. I have to prepare!!!

I created an Amazon Baby Registry so I could use the completion coupon towards few things that I still need. Like an infant car seat for Logan. For Liam, I used the same car seat as I had with Tristan but that's now expired. So I want to get the Baby Trend Secure Snap Tech 32 Infant Car Seat because it's small enough to fit in my car and it fits in our current double stroller. I also need to get a crib mattress because Liam still sleeps in the crib & I don't see him vacating it anytime soon. A mom in Tristan's class has offered me her crib for Logan to use. <---THANK YOU! ♥ The other stuff is just little things that need to be replaced. I love the Kiinde bottles because I can push the air out of the bottle/bag. This bottle is the coolest thing since sliced bread. 😀 I still use these bottles with Liam. Which reminds me, I need to wean him some time soon.

I have baby clothes in the attic. I need to get them out. I have to figure out what I'm going to do about the closet/storage situation. I need to figure out what I'm going to do about sleeping arrangements. I know the first couple of months Logan will sleep in my room, likely in the pack & play. But then once he's ready to transition to the crib will I have 2 cribs in the nursery or move Liam's crib into Tristan's room? Liam goes to bed early, so regardless he'd probably go down first. Tristan is a procrastinator when it comes to bed time. Hmm?

Also, after Logan is born I will have a few weeks off of chemo to recover from a c-section but how long? How will I manage THREE kids, one being a newborn, with weekly chemotherapy? <---This thought alone stresses me out.
How in the world will I make it through? My poor sitters, they'll need help or need to be real pros to handle 3 kids. Oy!

I started gathering quotes on flooring installation because we bought the floors for the living and dining room area and planned to do it ourself but Brandon does t have the time and I don't have the energy and it needs to get done like yesterday. My in laws offered to pay the labor but all the quotes I've found so far are $1.25 or more per sq ft. I think thats more than we paid for the flooring! Ugh!

Does any one know anyone who can install it for less? It's click & lock planks floated on a concrete slab. It's been prepped so it's just install, not rocket science. If chemo & this pregnancy weren't kicking my butt I'd do it myself. How frustrating.

I got the orders from the OB to do the third trimester labs and 1-hour glucose tolerance test. They gave me the orange glucola, I asked for that one. I'm taking this to chemo tomorrow to see if they can draw my labs from the port so I don't have to get my arm pricked again. It's still bruised from the lab draw last week. I called the nurse today, she said to bring it in, the worse they can say is "no". Also, the port is only supposed to be accessed by certified nurses (with port experience) that's why the outside lab wouldn't touch it. So cross your fingers, I hope I can do it there.

Chemo is tomorrow, I'm dreading it so freaking much. I don't know why. Actually, I do. Cycle 2 knocked my blood counts all down. I felt weak, and Uber tired and generally like shit all week, then the family got sick (food poisoning), all my fault so I was taking care of them, making myself fever more fatigued. Tuesday I finally start to feel myself again and now Thursday is creeping up on me. Geez! So, no, I'm not looking forward to this.

Wish me luck and sanity. I need both!
And maybe a girls night/day out. So if you want to meet up, let me know. I need to stop being such a hermit right now. It's depressing.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Talk to your Obstetrician

I had my 28 week check up with my primary OB. Baby is doing well, measuring at 28 weeks. Heart Rate is 150 BPM. She says according to Dr Al-Malt baby is doing wonderful. Growing like he's supposed to. I've gained 6 lbs in total since the beginning of the pregnancy. She said its on the low side but given the situation low gain is better than weight loss, so we'll take it. I told her I eat when I can, when I have an appetite and when I can't eat I force myself to have a Boost shake. By the way, the chocolate Boost shakes takes like liquid vitamins, it's not appetizing at all. So if you have a better suggestion, let me know.

After my visit was complete I asked the doctor, What are you doing to help nursing mothers distinguish between a clogged duct (which is what I thought I had originally) and a lump? She said all you have to do is ask for an ultrasound of the breast. They will do a physical exam of the breasts. This is where you lay on your back and they ash around with their fingertips. It's not painful at all, not usually. They'll let you know if they find anything else suspicious such as fibrous tissue, lumps, or cysts, etc. They make a note of it and write you a referral for an ultrasound & mammogram if findings suggest a mammo to be helpful. 

This is essentially how I found out that I had cancer. I told my PCP (primary care physician) that I had a mass and was concerned. He said "oh it's probably a clogged duct or cyst due to pregnancy & lactation." 
I told my OB the same thing & told her what the PCP said and that's when she sent me for the ultrasound. 

All you have to do is advocate for yourself. Talk to your doctor, if you're not happy with that explanation seek another doctor's opinion. Remember, they work for you. They are there to help you. I understand talking about your body may be awkward but it can literally save your life! 

If it's just a clogged duct, no harm. See KellyMom article for how to help alleviate it. 

I also spoke to a La Leche League leader friend of mine after talking to my OB. She agreed that women can be shy about talking about our personal health, especially with our OB. But I urge you to be open, talk about it. Your doctor isn't there to judge you. It's not a stupid question. They are there to help you and answer all the questions. Another wonderful resource is your local La Leche League group. The leaders & other members are a wealth of information, tips and advice to help you along you nursing journey. ♥

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